To have a best friend. Particularly one who understands my eating disorder. Yep.
This post is going to sound bad, but please don’t be turned off. It’s my ED talking.
If I’m not the thinnest one in my classes, I’ll freak out.
Tomorrow’s a half day, but come Wednesday when we have to eat lunch… I’m not sure what’s going to happen. But I’m scared as fuck.
I feel like such a failure lately.
So, I’m going up north for the weekend with a friend, and because I’m vegan my dad took me to Whole Foods so we knew I had things to eat while I’m away. Anyway, they had this vegan vanilla mousse parfait, and we got it, and I was trying to figure out how many calories it had.
I thought 400 seemed to high, but 300 seemed to low. I figured 350ish. So I called Whole Foods this morning and asked, and they said 210. I danced around my room for 10 minutes, legit.
With the food I have planned, that’s 917 calories. So, I still need a lovely 483 in dinner.